Dear losers who make less than $100,000/yr and have to do actual work,
There has been a spike in concern about my years at Bain Capital. Understand that I “retired” in February 1999 to rescue the Olympics from catastrophic failure of which the world hasn’t seen until the London 2012 Summer Olympics. When I left I was wanting to keep my seat warm until I returned, so I continued to claim I was “sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president.” This designation filed with a ragtime organization called the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the mere fact I made a salary of $100,000/yr for several years after my retirement mean nothing.
You see responsibility means you have to take blame and if you peasants haven’t figured it out yet, we rich people are never to blame. If something goes awry (think economic collapse of 2008), that’s just the cost of doing business and the wealthy and pioneers of Wall Street must be supplemented (don’t say “bailed out” it seems so pedestrian) with vast government funds to continue their groundbreaking economic pursuits. Likewise, when Bain Capital outsourced, offshored, and led to company bankruptcies during the mysterious 1999-2001 timeframe where I had the aforementioned SEC designation, I can’t be faulted. Really, Bain shouldn’t be faulted either — this is just what we did and I’d defend it, but poor people just might not understand how business “works”.
Nevertheless, any accomplishments resulting from actions between my “retirement” and my really leaving for good are the result of my strategic brilliance and I should receive full (if not more) credit.
I did a speed round of explaining myself Friday — a set of interviews designed not to go into anything more than superficial detail.
In these interviews I again stressed that Obama owes me an apology. If I can pretend he apologizes to everyone else, I’ll pretend he’ll also apologize to me.
Yours always (except when previously noted),
F Mitt Romney