Dear serfs,
Only an 82 year old rich white man with crazy hair talking to an empty chair can relate to my voting base. We had months to plan for the RNC 2012 convention so my campaign staff, who previously aided my successful foreign trip, and I debated every segment with excruciating detail.
Behind the scenes there were a few other last minute possibilities prior to selecting Clint Eastwood and the chair. We had discussed in length having Arnold Schwarzenegger sing to a bookcase filled with Ayn Rand novels, the King James Bible, and a hardcover version of my book No Apology: The Case for American Greatness (available at Amazon.com and bookstores everywhere). Rehearsals didn’t go well (Arnold was a tad pitchy) so we brought in Bruce Willis to dance the tango with an ottoman. Unfortunately, his footwork was too mechanical and we just couldn’t get the type of emotional effect we desired not to mention choosing just the right ottoman was fraught with questions — Do we opt for brown leather or perhaps white linen? Does it need to have storage capability? Will the sheen from the fabric impact the dramatic lighting? Will Bruce drop the ottoman for a younger model?
Ultimately, I think we chose wisely.
Mostly sincerely,
F Mitt Romney
